What's the stupidest pipe related thing you've ever done?

[Bob]

If you are married, your wife likely frowns on the scorched spots and soot on her carpet. I used to take the stem off my pipe and blow the condensate into a trash can. Evidently I missed the trash can a few times and the luvly 'n charmin' Miss Arkie expressed her displeasure. She first got my attention by beating me vigorously about the head and shoulders with a rolled up newspaper and then proceeded to scream something about canine ancestry and maternal indiscretion. She was incoherent so I didn't understand the full extent of her discourse.

Umm Mitch? Morty is a woman!
LOL "Banging my feet like a wild woman"

[Markw4mms]

Umm Mitch? Morty is a woman!
LOL "Banging my feet like a wild woman"

........ XD.jpg

[Michael Goodwin]

The story I am relating is true......sadly.....

I was a new pipe smoker; baby, really. I got a new box of matches for my new pipe. Lit the match and tobacco. PUT THE MATCH ON MY PILLOW! figuring the time was right to lean against the wall and watch some some tv. I smell something burning.........goodbye pillow, and half of my sheet. Don't tell anyone, but I threw em both out. Blamed the cats for ruining them..... Heh!

[Foggymountain]

Back in the 1960s I left a $100. Wilke pipe in the pocket of a black leather jacket, both locked in the saddlebag of a BMW motorcycle I parked in a commercial garage in the Bronx. The jacket was stolen, pipe in it. Today that would be a $1000 pipe. I was glad they didn't take the motorcycle too.

[Whalehead King]

Not realizing that a pipe that isn't smoking still smells like it is. Not that this is a bad thing. I walked into a coffee shop in New Orleans with a pipe I had stopped smoking a block away. The cashier girl said that I smelled good. The barrista asked if I was smoking Cavendish. "How did you know?" I asked. "it's not really quite out," he answered as I held my pipe in my mouth.

In Boston, I would probably have gotten a ticket for smoking indoors. In New Orleans, just a gentle reminder that I wasn't supposed to be smoking where alcohol isn't being served. I felt stupid in New Orleans. i would have felt more stupid and I would have been kicking myself over the fine in Boston.

Smoke in good health,
WK

[williamcrane]

Ok, here goes nothing! BTW any newbies reading this, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!
I started smoking pipes with nothing but Cobs. Well one day I had a little extra cash from mowing some lawns and went down to the corner drugstore and bought me a brand spanking new Dr. Grabow. My gramps told me it took awhile to break in a new briar pipe so I thought I would speed things up a bit. Do you know where I am going with this?? I loaded it up and got it going real good. I then got in my car and went to the highway holding lit pipe out the window while doing about 60 mph. When I brought the pipe back inside I noticed that all I had left was a smoldering piece of nothing! I mean that pipe was burnt down to the shank!
Beat that!!!!

Well, Bob, I was just sitting here thinking of what I could add to this thread. My thoughts ran back to the time when, I too, held a briar out of a car window. Yes, dumb, dumb, dumb - briar can be burnt out.

[lestrout]

william - and what was the make of the deceased briar?

hp
les

[williamcrane]

william - and what was the make of the deceased briar?

hp
les

I think it was a no name pipe from a pipe shop's basket. The unfortunate incident happened many years ago.

[Carlos]

I remember last year I was helping my neighbor with some outside work. We were gonna clear a sendero and we each had our gas trimmers with the "beaver blades" installed and so i decided to put my pipe in my back jean pocket and on our first smoke break we both sat down under an oak tree to enjoy the cool clear morning but just as I sat down I heard/felt a "snap" in my back pocket. Okay, it is a no name pipe but it sure would have been a better smoke without the broken stem. I did light it and smoked it a little without the stem but I sure felt stupid that day.