What's the stupidest pipe related thing you've ever done?

**Arkie_** · 09-20-2012, 19:40

When I first started smoking a pipe I put a recently filled Zippo in the watch pocket of my jeans.

**Bob** · 09-20-2012, 20:30

Ok, here goes nothing! BTW any newbies reading this, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!
I started smoking pipes with nothing but Cobs. Well one day I had a little extra cash from mowing some lawns and went down to the corner drugstore and bought me a brand spanking new Dr. Grabow. My gramps told me it took awhile to break in a new briar pipe so I thought I would speed things up a bit. Do you know where I am going with this?? I loaded it up and got it going real good. I then got in my car and went to the highway holding lit pipe out the window while doing about 60 mph. When I brought the pipe back inside I noticed that all I had left was a smoldering piece of nothing! I mean that pipe was burnt down to the shank!
Beat that!!!!

**Hermit** · 09-20-2012, 20:58

Originally Posted by Arkie_

When I first started smoking a pipe I put a recently filled Zippo in the watch pocket of my jeans.

An old boss of mine told me about the time he had a Zippo in his pants pocket.
He forget it was there and put on his flight suit. At altitude, when the fluid
leaked out, he couldn't do anything about it. He said he had a nasty chemical burn.

**HCraven** · 09-20-2012, 22:57

Originally Posted by Arkie_

When I first started smoking a pipe I put a recently filled Zippo in the watch pocket of my jeans.

Been there, done that.

I still do stupid things once in a while. A couple of weeks ago I was outside smoking, and there was a breeze that was heating up my pipe a little more than usual, and it developed a gurgle. I didn't have any cleaners handy, but I remembered reading a post somewhere that said to blow back gently through the pipe to clear the gurgle, so I thought I'd try that. I guess I underestimated the force which a little puff down the stem might have, and wound up with about a half a bowl of tobacco in my lap, hot ash and all.

Even if my pipe doesn't gurgle, there's usually a tiny bit of moisture hiding in the stem somewhere. I remember that occasionally if I look skyward while clenching a straight pipe. Blechh!

**mike68** · 09-21-2012, 00:11

Mine is usually the dreaded "toby puff up", where I light a bowl that's a tad moist and too full to begin with..then I forget and sit there looking at the forums or something and end up jostling the bowl enough to end up with burning baccy in the lap! Duh..

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2

**olderthandirt** · 09-21-2012, 00:44

Smoking a POS Brebbia CW, gurgle monster from Hades, and decided to lean back in the recliner.
Foot rest up, head back, bowl of pipe elevated and I got a hefty swallow of what had been gurgling.

I spluttered and SWMBO smiled that knowing smile.

**uncamitch** · 09-21-2012, 17:39

When I first started to smoke.. I bought a butane torch lighter.... upon carefully packing my pipe... I held the bowl took carefull aim and promply lit the tip of my finger.... I now use matches and a zippo pipe lighter

**Yohanan** · 09-22-2012, 01:16

Bought an estate pipe and received it through the mail, as soon as I took it out of the package I wanted to remove the stem and check the inside of the shank, In my haste, I snapped the tenon off in the shank, I was pissed. What made it so bad, is that I was thinking that I need to put it in the freezer for a few minutes as the tenon was snapping free from the stem.
Too little brain... to late.

**morty58** · 10-04-2012, 18:34

Forgetting that I have a lit pipe in my mouth and leaning forward just a tad too far and having burning ashes all over my carpet. Then I proceed to try and stamp out the burning pieces on the carpet by banging my feet like a mad woman. I tell ya it looks like I'm doing the highland fling. Not cute!!!!!

**Arkie_** · 10-05-2012, 01:55

Originally Posted by morty58

Forgetting that I have a lit pipe in my mouth and leaning forward just a tad too far and having burning ashes all over my carpet. Then I proceed to try and stamp out the burning pieces on the carpet by banging my feet like a mad woman. I tell ya it looks like I'm doing the highland fling. Not cute!!!!!

If you are married, your wife likely frowns on the scorched spots and soot on her carpet. I used to take the stem off my pipe and blow the condensate into a trash can. Evidently I missed the trash can a few times and the luvly 'n charmin' Miss Arkie expressed her displeasure. She first got my attention by beating me vigorously about the head and shoulders with a rolled up newspaper and then proceeded to scream something about canine ancestry and maternal indiscretion. She was incoherent so I didn't understand the full extent of her discourse.